My goodness

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I love the country.

I am so incredibly thankful for the lifestyle I live, the freedom to do what I have longed for my entire life, and the privilege to work hard.

 

Recently

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It has been foggy, so I took the opportunity to capture it! My college professor said that no photo is worth taking without a risk involved. The majority of my photos are not “risky”. I am a very cautious person. However, I couldn’t resist taking my camera out in to the mud, amidst all the animals. They were acting so crazy this morning, because the fog was SO thick.

Yesterday, the skies were more clear.

Yesterday, I stopped down to 2.0 and had my ISO at 1000. I did this, because I was photographing animals, and they move very quickly.

This morning, I pulled my ISO down to 100 and used my 50mm macro lens.

Foggy days. 

In Texas, they come to visit now and again. In my life, however, they come to visit quite often. Do you know what I mean? Those days where you have no clue why everything is going wrong, and there seems to be no direction for you.


These images depict a beautiful day. [They’re from my phone at feeding time.]

Some may say the sunrise is diluted by the fog, but I feel that fog enhances the beauty of a sunrise. When the sun peaks through the clouds and illuminates the fog, everything is in silhouette. There’s a beautiful, mystique feel to the world in those moments. Many foggy days in my journey of life have that same feeling: a beautiful, mystical feeling. I may not know what lies in my future, but that’s the beauty of it. God knows, and His way is best for us. He loves us. I am thankful for that. I hope you are, too! 

In the morning…

imageThe first thing we do when we wake up defines what holds our heart. I am very guilty of waking up and checking my phone for text messages from certain people, or Facebook for “likes” and comments. This morning, I willed myself to pray and claim positive affirmations for myself before I opened my eyes. I want my life to revolve around my Lord and “living loved”. My mom and I have begun a Bible study by Lysa TerKeurst. My entire life, I have felt “uninvited, left out, and lonely”, so I feel this Bible study is perfect for me. I have been battling depression. It’s difficult to admit, but I am praying that this Bible study puts my soul’s roots in Jesus, and changes my way of thinking.

When you’re feeling like you’re not good enough

imageRemember this, there’s a reason you’re here. There’s a reason you survived your birth, the car ride to work today, the heat of the summer, the sickness you’re enduring, and so many other things. You are a survivor, and you have a purpose, because God destined you with one.

In Christ, you are worth so much more than riches and worldy possessions. He placed you on this earth to make a difference. Some may reach the world and some may reach a few. We all have different gifts and abilities suited perfectly for our purpose.

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

We are weak. The flesh is weak. Our God is strong. His power is made perfect in weakness, which means, His power is unmatched when it dwells in us. Claim His power in your life and surrender your life to Him. Everything He wants for you is what’s best and out of love for you.

You are enough, because God says so. That guy who dumped you? That friend who dissed you? They don’t have any idea of your worth and beauty. Pray for their heart and their happiness, then move on. Find people who see your strength, abilities, beauty, and originality!

Jasper

As I do most days, after feeding this afternoon, I took pictures with my mule. His name is Jasper. When I went back to look at these pictures on my phone, I thought, “He’s the only boy I need in my life.” Then, as they always do, an entire slew of thoughts came into my head. “No, you also need Denton. Wait… You also need his dad, your brother. Oh and your own dad. Your cousins are pretty cool, too.” I realized that, even though, I’ve been hurt time and again by friends and people I really cared about, I don’t need to make a habit of closing my heart off. I need to open it up to my family. I tend to keep to myself and not express my true emotions. I cry myself to sleep while Callie wonders what’s wrong. Bottling things up isn’t healthy. I’m a talkative person and I’ll have a great time with my family, but my true feelings only come out when I’m at my wit’s end. I’m so stressed in so many ways, but I’m trying to focus on what really matters. Leaving this world with a legacy of reflecting God’s love is what’s important. How am I going to do that locked up in my own little world, emotionally? I need to take every decision I’ve made to this point and use them. I need to open myself up, when I’m ready, to allow the Lord to enlighten others with what I’ve gone through. Today, I am deciding to be powerful and own the gifts I have, the choices I’ve learned from, the choices I’ve been blessed through, and to love despite the world telling me not to.

Also, here’s my adorable mule.

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I have MD.

I have Muscular Dystrophy but I will not let it define me. Yes, I post about it often but I live with it daily. It causes me to do things differently and causes some activities that would be trivial to most, difficult for me. I’ve become a professional at internal “pep talks”. Six months ago, I would’ve been trash talking myself and complaining about all the work I’m doing. Now, I give myself pep talks by reciting verses and saying to myself that I can do this. It’s an amazing feeling to be working hard to aide my parents in making their land more beautiful and more safe. All of our horses are out here and we need to do what we can to ensure they aren’t sliced open with metal, or step on glass. It’s unfortunate that 100s of years of debris is surfacing due to the recent rain but I am thankful that I am able to contribute to its clean up. I hauled two loads today, of rocks and limbs, and am proud to say I did it myself! My legs felt like jello towards the end because, I’m sure, I did about 300 squats. Even though I was fatigued, I got it done, and I believe that’s because God was with me. He had his arms stretched out on either side of me, like a parent with a newly walking child, keeping me from a face plant into cacti about a dozen times. Thank You, God, for Your sovereignty and grace. I am a sinner, I have ill intentions at times, and being out in the pasture by myself was a great time to reflect and repent.  

   

Mornings…

are not my favorite but when I get to nourish my babies, it’s all worth it! I wake up early, so that, I can give Callie her medicine and feed the crazy horses/mules. My little dude is walking around in this cool, morning air with a full belly. Almost every time I feed, I think about where he came from, and am so grateful we have him. He’s put on about 200lbs since we got him in March. Such a sweet boy didn’t deserve to push through fencing to search for grass. His owner had four horses and you could see every rib and hip bone. Jasper was going to be that way soon. It stinks that I couldn’t take them all but I’m so glad I have him.  

  

 

Nay Sayers

Here is an image of the clouds rolling in over Tucker Lake at Palo Pinto Mountains State Park.

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It’s been raining around here today and I forgot how different the reaction is out here from where I’m, originally, from. In the metroplex, people see rain and say, “aw man, my day was just ruined.” and they feel the need to go crawl in a hole for the entire day. Out here, it is so different. We are so grateful to our Lord for the nutrition rain brings to our land! Our animals’ troughs are full, the gardens have been fed, and the rain barrels are full. Praise The Lord! Just when it was getting to a scary point in our drought, The Lord provided just what we all needed. Say no to those nay sayers of rain.

In fact, embrace the beauty that entails every thing people put a negative spin on. Do people tell you you can’t do something? Go out there and prove them wrong! You may not do things exactly the way they would, but by golly, you’re getting it done!

Take my photography, for example, I am in a group with a few people that have muscular dystrophy and are amazing photographers! Most people with physical disabilities would say “I could never do that.” but they can! There are so many people in this world that are proving the world’s assumptions wrong! Go out there and DO YOUR THANG! no matter what anyone else says.