A letter

to my former self (and former friends).

I have lived my life expecting everyone to have the same heart as I do. In the hardest ways, I’ve learned that’s just not possible.

I’m sorry for the way I cared and expected too much because of it. I held such unrealistic expectations for myself and for you. The way I feel about myself has manifested itself in some of the worst ways. I apologize for leaning on you for support more than you were capable of giving. I apologize for the mood swings, for not knowing what I want, and for all the petty complaints. I was too busy trying to please you to step back and find myself.

In the end, I’m sorry for being so self centered in friendships and expecting other people to help me with what I need to help myself. I need to find happiness in myself, and I’m sorry for looking for it in all of you. To the past friends, thank you for being a part of my journey, and for being a piece in the puzzle that has built me in to who I am today.