Foggy days. 

In Texas, they come to visit now and again. In my life, however, they come to visit quite often. Do you know what I mean? Those days where you have no clue why everything is going wrong, and there seems to be no direction for you.


These images depict a beautiful day. [They’re from my phone at feeding time.]

Some may say the sunrise is diluted by the fog, but I feel that fog enhances the beauty of a sunrise. When the sun peaks through the clouds and illuminates the fog, everything is in silhouette. There’s a beautiful, mystique feel to the world in those moments. Many foggy days in my journey of life have that same feeling: a beautiful, mystical feeling. I may not know what lies in my future, but that’s the beauty of it. God knows, and His way is best for us. He loves us. I am thankful for that. I hope you are, too! 

Our story is beautiful 

Everything we face, everything we do, everything we say can be a lesson to someone else. Let’s hope that lesson is not “wow, I do not want to be like that person.” Let’s be someone who others look up to, even when we make mistakes. It’s what we do in response is what makes our story beautiful. 

Peter did something that many may claim they would never do: deny Jesus. 

I would like to think that, no matter what came before me, I would stick true to what I believe and confess my love for Him. We are human, after all, and we are weak. Even in our weak moments and our darkest sins, if we confess with our hearts, Christ forgives.

No thing can separate us from Christ’s love. 

That’s an absolutely beautiful, awe striking fact. He loves us no matter what. Does He always love the choices we make? No. He hates sin, but He loves the sinner. 

Thank you, Lord, for loving me… even at my darkest. 

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” -Romans 5:8 

The Holidays… Keep yourself in check

It’s so easy to get stuck in all the hallabaloo of the holidays. Stress levels are extremely high! You may be worrying about the food you need to prepare, the gifts you bought for your loved ones, “Is this what they wanted?“, or how you will accommodate your entire family this year with three new little ones. There are so many aspects of the holidays that can cause stress. Please, take a step back, take a deep breath, and remember why the holidays exist.

#1 Jesus was born!

Of course, this is a huge deal. He is the “reason for the season”, and he died for our sins! He was born, so that he could die, and rise again! Yay!

#2 Family, family, family, and other loved ones

I understand that not everyone’s loved ones includes blood relatives. Celebrate your togetherness with your loved ones, whether or not they bought you a gift. Not everyone has money growing out their ears.

Comprende? Alright. Merry Christmas! 🙂

I write, on occasion.

At times, I feel the need to express myself in written form. It seems to suit me better than verbal communication. When I was young, I’d write my mother notes. I’ve always felt intensely, and didn’t know another way to express how I truly felt.

Whether I’m “good” at it, or not, doesn’t matter to me. Writing things down gives me free space in my mind.

Here are two things I most recently wrote.

I don’t want to be a mold. That wouldn’t lead to elation. I don’t want to say yes. That wouldn’t lead to elation. The propaganda that a yes leads to more is a lie. It will lead to the death of your soul. Your individuality will be buried at sea. The waves will crash. The acceptance MAY come, but it is not likely, because your acceptance comes from you. Seek it from others, and the you that you knew will die.

 

My heart is breaking. I feel like I’ve lost myself in so many ways. Where is she? Where is the girl who created on a whim, who did what she loved without inhibition, who did and did not care. Sleepless nights, always. Stuck in her head, night and day. It was her safe place. It was chaos. It was beautiful. But, the lies creeped in. She picked up her sword, and she fought, but the fight was in her no more. She was tired of loving everything and nothing, all at once. She became numb. She made everyone happy and hid behind a smile. No more relief, just pain.

 

Thank you for reading.

Morning feeding

1. I love my pajamas. It takes a lot of self talk to get myself out of them. Therefore, more often than not, my feeding attire in the morning is pajamas. THIS morning, I happened to wear some onesie pajamas my sister bought me as a gag. They are super comfortable, and I wear them often!

In addition to being so comfy, I witnessed a beautiful sunrise through the clouds.